 There are many things people fail to tell a bride-to-be. Not because these tips are entirely inconsequential, but because these are tiny, little, random notes. If it smoothes a bride’s transition, however, devoting these words is worth it. USE YOUR TIME WELL
Take two weeks off, get together with your family, and decide what you really want for your entire wedding. Use this interim period for planning your trousseau and targeting the right sales at big multidesigner boutiques and buy yourself gifts that friends and family want to give you for your wedding; most people these days give the bride their budgets in advance. Get personalised stationery printed; it’ll come in handy when you both want to send out thank-you notes after the wedding. And, finally, make your rounds of several jewellers and get lots of ideas, but settle for your big-budget buys only with someone you can trust.
PRIORITISE AND PLAN
Choose venues that either accommodate all the guests your family wants to invite, or prune the guest-lists to fit in the venues that you really like. Incidentally, a thumbrule that even most wedding caterers work by is that for every 100 cards you send out to couples and families, approximately 100-130 people will eat. This may help your family in planning headcounts. Sit in on meetings where both sides of the family gather to discuss the number of functions they want to host, budgets for caterers and decorators, arrangements for guests and so on. Don’t be too vociferous in your opinions though; there are issues that you just can’t foresee and don’t have a say in – like extended guestlists or budgets. Brides often live in bubbles.
TWO PERSONAL POINTS
One, things can go horribly awry if your make-up displeases you. After freezing on make-up artistes that suit your style, scout around for the looks you like, even if it is as petty as tearing out a page from a magazine. Set up appointments with your make-up artistes for trials or, in case they don't do trials just to ideate and drive home your preferences. Two, as glamourous as you may want to look, avoid high heels for all the functions where you're expected to be mobile.
PLAN YOUR TROUSSEAU WISELY
Don’t buy too much at one go, and always go shopping personally. Tradition may dictate you take “21 items” or something along those lines, but consult a bride who got married in the last two years. If she's stuck with 21 sequinned saris and anarkali kurtas that she now has to wear through the next two wedding seasons even though everyone around her has moved on with trends, you’ll have your answer. You’d much rather negotiate an allowance so that you can purchase a new outfit every few months even after your wedding. Pick up a few classic saris and kurtas, and leave the rest to time. Also, please don’t assume your new ‘trousseau’ outfits, shoes and handbags need to stay pristine for post-marriage use only. Noone subscribes to those old norms any more. You’ll obviously have paid a pretty penny for these clothes, so you may as well start utilising your trousseau towards your various pre-wedding events, else your clothing budget will spiral out of control.
WORK THREE MONTHS IN ADVANCE
Always buy your jewellery first (since it’s a forever thing) and then get your wedding outfits customised. As soon as your wedding time-line is in order, write to your personal guests and request them to block their dates. Ask for their postal addresses. It’s absolutely alright to work well ahead of time and look like a zealot; it’s a bride’s prerogative to be so. If you realise you’ve forgotten to invite an old friend just four days before the wedding and have no time to get his/her postal address and send out a card, you’ll hate yourself. Design an e-invite for out-of-India guests that you can email three weeks before the wedding commences.
DISASSOCIATE FROM THE PLANS
You don’t want to collapse in an untidy heap by the time your wedding comes around. It’s best to pick a couple of responsibilities, and leave the rest to trusted family. Don’t take charge of the catering or décor, for instance; it’s too overwhelming, too budget-driven and too macro. Present your suggestions and likes though.
ATTEND TO PERSONAL GUESTS
It’s not always about the bigger picture; focus on the minutiae. Little gestures go a long way in grace. If you have an elaborate wedding with a dozen tiny dos preceding the big day, give your personal invitees a list with dates, times, venues and dresscodes. Once your invites have been sent out, a follow-up call is mandatory.
LITTLE THINGS TO DWELL ON
It may actually be a cathartic process to start planning your wedding favours (i.e. gifts for your close friends and family) well in advance; it eases you into the ‘goodbye’ process. Don’t go out and buy 15 uniform candelabras. Put some thought into what each person may like; there’s a reason why you’re giving gifts to this select group. It’s a lovely surprise to get a gift from the bride on her wedding day. Especially because it may well be two months before you get around to sending thank-you notes, which is another must.
THE FINAL FRONTIER
Around you, your family will be negotiating the final prices with caterers and decorators, and settling bills with jewellers and designers. Money talk is highly stressful. If you have a say, try and pace out your social occasions. A week before the wedding, sleepless nights are inevitable.
TAKING A QUANTUM LEAP
No matter how long and how well you’ve known your fiancé and his family or how conveniently close-by your parents live, nothing can prepare you for the first evening at your new house. You’ll feel blank; like you’re dressing up every day and attending somebody else’s party.
But the first time you come home, fumble to find the warm water setting in the shower, fight the nervous knot in your stomach and get used to a new pillow, it’s a brand new reality. No-one can prepare you for that moment. But perhaps this may help. Courtesy: TNN
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Wedding Preparations 
