 By Anupama Sharma One thing is out of my comprehension that why everybody around is going so excited over the thought of my marriage. Here at home my parents are serious about looking for a suitable son in law and there my friends are seeing me getting married in their dreams, I would call it nightmares rather.
Let us take parents first. Yeah you heard me right, at home my parents particularly my mom is going quite considerate about all the qualified-fetching-big-cheques, deserving, and tall and handsome, and having-nice-family-background candidates they are getting proposals from. Since in our Indian culture it is customary that only girl-side approach guy-side that directly, so it was obvious that all those proposals they are getting are indirectly. Like from some mutual acquaintance, or from their subtle hints. For them it’s like a usual duty that every parent is expected from. What they don’t understand is that they won’t be defied from being called parents if they execute this process after a couple of years when I am mentally prepared. I mean give me a break. Here I haven’t even finished my education and they are trying to indulge me in something that is not less than any phobia for me. And when I say the same that let me finish my masters, let me get settled in my new job that hasn’t started yet, let me have my own time with getting used to all that is going to happen with its consequences and a new place, you can very well predict their smart answer if you have been in touch with any smart parents - ‘ so where did we order you to get married, just look around and let us know which one you are interested in. At least see him, and talk to him. And if you feel like marrying him just let us know so that we( both the parties involved) get assured and anytime whenever you people feel comfortable, get engaged. Marriage can happen right after one year when you complete your MCA and done with all your exams. We are not disturbing you or your studies in anyway. Things will proceed the way you wish them to. And moreover don’t you see they people are more interested in you. It doesn’t happen all the time and with everyone. ’ PHEW !! . Believe me if I say I am dead scared about all this marriage funda at this moment. I may boast of my adventurous activities in or out of college (Though not much time remains after doing these interesting things after college), people might know me more because of my ultra cool nature, my multiple and never ending khurafatein of different varieties and more-than-one-offer-letter-in-hand thing but seriously this girl who is a courageous and guts ridden for all, is actually not better than any pigeon-hearted soul when it comes to anything remotely related to shaadi-byaah.
Whenever something related to this is discussed in my home, I simply just walk out otherwise it gets ended in an argument. Since my side is heavier given the fact that I haven’t completed studies and my folks are trying to push me in shaadi aka barbaadi, most of the times I am not held responsible for this walking out or not so heated argument. Infact they end up with ‘beta, don’t get upset. It’s our duty and we are doing it. We assure you this won’t come in the way of your studies or anything. Ok ok don’t be angry. We will talk and do about it when you will approve. So don’t worry we wont talk about it again.’ But I see that every other day my ma comes up with the same convincing-session and try hard to make me melt a bit in hope that some time I will say ki ok go ahead with the talk with this guy/family. But no kind of diversion she could make in my mind till now. This all began to happen in this manner (with this intensity) after my placement and having seen that this is my last year in studies. A couple of aunties in our colony who sees me as a prospective bahu in their home amuses me more when they begin to praise me and themselves until I tell them explicitly to take their leave whenever I unfortunately bump into them. Of course it feels nice to see that you are made up of stuff that people see you from that respectable angle but honestly speaking I am least interested in this whole thing. Reason, I am just not ready to abandon all my freedom, independence and all the bonuses that come with this my present ‘single’ status, all of a sudden. Then I really don’t want to get indulged in these ‘grahisthi ke dhandhe’ so soon when I haven’t completed my studies yet. Then I don’t want to be the one to start this marriage series in my friend circle. Though most of my friends are committed but no one of them is married yet. So why should I straight forwardly jump into this M status without surpassing the status that come in between, moreover people with C status should be given high priority as they have been in queue for longer period. And then most importantly the idea of putting up with someone who I don’t know inside out or outside in, who I don’t understand, or who I am not frank with, who I know just for a little time that too most probably a projected image, under the same roof scares the day night out of me. I want to be free as long as I can be, without any jhanjhatt, any panga.
On a better part, today when my ma was talking to my mamaji when he came to our home, everything was alright. The moment she started this shaadi stuff I walked out giving her that furious look. I came to know my mamaji was in favour of my mom but sensing my reaction to this whole issue he advised my ma to put a pause on this for atleast a year. Later ma told me to not to talk about this issue for a year to come. A big relief came to me. In hindsight I know this thing can anytime pop out whenever she again get some indirect gesture from some bahu-hunting parent. And I am thinking over an idea that will neither lead my parents to complaint me that I am not even seeing any guy nor I will have to force myself for a ‘baal-vivah’. Guess what, I will see him, I will tell him what a big shopping buff I am. I will tell him in detail, if needed with pen on a big chart, that what a spendthrift I am that how easily I can shell out all his hard earned bucks and how cleanliness freak I am. If he is a real man (who is apparently averse to cleansing, shopping and spending his hard or easy whatever, earned money with the frequency of Left’s threats to UPA government) he will take a better decision of giving up and remaining bachelor through out life. Isn’t it again proved that I think and act in welfare of everybody?
How damn interesting and funny my friends dreamt of my marriage in their dreams (nightmare?) will be up there in coming post!
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Cupid Speak 
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Have read this post of yours earlier also, but can vouch that can identify with this phenomenon now!
