By Manishi

 

There was the time when to get settled in life meant to become an engineer , doctor and then get married to a decent girl and live happily ever after. But now the definition has changed completely and totally the new scenario has popped up with the alternate carrier options and life style to be chosen. The thinking pattern has been changed. We no more believe on the words of our elders and have got our own decisions to be placed ahead each time. With so much evolution going on every where, the things which were tabooed earlier for the teenagers have become obvious to be known. Now instead of thinking on the same line youngsters has discovered new ways. As we know the change is for good but can we apply the same line for every change. As the bad also comes with every good so here also it is in the line.
 
I was watching the survey in which 70% of the youngsters nowadays do not want to get married, and even if they do want, then in the latter half of life. Tried to get the reasons for that and continued my search. Here I could gather some points, tell me what you think about them.
 
1) More Live-in-relationships coming into existence.
 
With every thing getting advanced and easily accessible, all the good phases of married life are also in the list. This has been made possible with the upcoming of live-in-relationships. I think all the young people who are into the relationship will agree with me, when I say that marriage with it brings more responsibilities, whereas the responsibilities get divided equally in Live-in-relationships. Also there is liberty which is so called freedom in such relationship. You have not got to explain the reasons of coming late, or let it be anything. More over both partners are free to end the relationship when they find it incompatible to be with each others whereas marriage doesn’t come with so many offers. However, in the end you need someone with who you can share your life when your teeth are falling and hair greying.
 
2) Carrier Consciousness has been increased
 
“Slow and steady wins the race”. The proverb has become totally obsolete for now the present generation does not believe in being slow and steady. There is no time to look back and decision has got to be taken as soon as the options are served. Everybody wants to be at top which is good but at the same time we cannot deny that there is only one man’s place there at the top. So with this comes the competition, which brings aggression among the people and the frustration which gets assembled and cannot be poured in the working areas. Thus it finds its way back at home upon partners. Aggression is one thing that marriage doesn’t want at all. We have to be patient and calm there also as the other partner no matter male or female is also working and is filled with the same furious aggression. But we lack to be patient and calm so youngsters do not want to be overburdened with it and just wants to concentrate upon their carrier.
 
3) Increasing Number of Betrayals
 
I know a girl who was seriously in love with a person and both of them wanted to get married. Finally every thing was going fine and even the girl got her parents agreed with the decision. But at this point of time the boy started misbehaving and because of the continuous ignoring attitude the relationship got over before marriage. After few months the girl’s parents got her engaged with the boy of their choice who was comparatively better looking and with a very promising carrier. When every thing was almost finalized I got to know that she has got her ex-boyfriend back into her life as he apologized her for the behavior and now instead of taking interest in her fiancé she is busy in planning the things to get settled down with her ex-boyfriend. I felt terribly sorry for the guy as he didn’t have the slightest idea of what’s happening.
 
Now see the other face of the things. Few days back that friend of mine got to know that her fiancé is also going around with a divorce and discussed the things with him with the final decision of not carrying on anymore. She told this to her boy friend and got firm with the decision of her to get married with him. To her surprise one day the boyfriend came to her saying that he cannot marry her as his parents has got his marriage fixed somewhere else. Now the girl is in depression and has lost her faith in marriage.
 
I do not know whose fault it was exactly, as in this case I found everybody ditching each other. See in your locality, I am sure there will lots of cases where because of this reason bachelors and spinsters have lost their faith in marriages. However, there are also many who have married and lived a happy life because they loved each other.

4) Increasing Expectations

Marriage is another name of Love. According to me the highest state of love is marriage. We choose one person from all others with whom our whole life gets attached, so it is natural that the expectations will also rise. But never forget that the other person is also human and there are limitations attached to him. Moreover humans are not perfect.
 
Before marriage the things remains very rosy and different. We get pampered from fiancé and when a married life starts then we expect to get the treatment of the price and princess. But then it’s not possible each time and we have to accept the things as they come our way. This is the best way of being happy. If we keep on complaining on the silliest things then the list will never end up but the relation will definitely. We have to ignore our partner’s mistakes at times. If one partner can fit himself in this frame then the love will make the other one also to be more understanding and patient.
 
My dear friends I am also a girl of this generation and have got married nearly five and a half months back. Believe me getting married is the best decision that both of us took in our life. Marriage is really a very beautiful bonding between two people. It makes life more worthwhile and gives a purpose to it. As far as the adjustments are concerned then they exist in every relationship. So please before coming to a decision give a thought that what impact its going to have in the latter stages of your life.

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Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved.