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Mother-in-law Vs Daughter-in-law |
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 Straight from blogger's heartSudha H Sharma
Are all mothers-in-law what people make them out to be? Aren't they human beings, were they not daughters, sisters and daughters-in-law themselves before they became mothers-in-law?
A million questions we ask especially if we were to talk about our mothers-in-law. Let us look at the equation of how a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship works. At the outset let us understand that every mother-in-law wishes her daughter-in-law to be someone who can adjust and be accommodative and in our Indian society we find that a marriage happens not just between the boy and the girl but a marriage brings two families together.
Without digressing let us get back to the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship. We first should understand that if any adjustment has to be done it has to be done by the girl because first and foremost only one person need to change her likes and dislikes as against all the others in the family who will not be able to change their habits to accommodate one person who has come into their lives. Now this can also be difficult on the girl who finds everything alien, but instead of making a hue and cry it would be simpler if she tried to go along with the tide. And it would be a lot more simpler for her because adjustments are a lot easier for youngsters to make than for old people as they are a lot more flexible in their beliefs and attitudes.
Once the girl has moved into the new home, the mother-in-law can slowly teach the young bride about how things are done at their homes. These days the new age brides are very intelligent, smart and independent. Most of the times they are employed and they also know how to run homes in the most economical way. Incase they have some good ideas about doing certain things in a particular way the mother-in-law should also comply. Most of the times this becomes an ego tussle. But then if the daughter-in-law is intelligent and knows that she will only earn her in-laws and husband's respect if she can very tactfully and diplomatically handle situations instead of fighting and arguing with them.
A very simple strategy would be to be polite and instead of imposing her ideas, suggest if certain things could be done in a better way. Trying to belittle someone will only make the young bride unpopular. Trying to be as helpful as possible and offering to take over small tasks initially would make quite a difference and a major impact on the others in the household.
The saying that 'First impressions are always the last impressions" is very apt in this case. Winning over the in-laws with love, patience and tact would be half the battle won. It is not wrong to stoop a little to conquer. Ensuring that the boy spends quality time with his parents as he does with his wife is another way of subtly telling the in-laws that nothing has changed after the wedding. The mother-in-law holds that much of importance to her son as the new bride does.
Remembering birthdays, anniversaries of the in-laws and other members of the family and gifting them with small items would go in a long way to firm up a good relationship. Making a favourite dish of any of the members is another way to wriggle one's way into their hearts.
These are time tested tips and they never let the young bride down and if you were wondering if I was the mother-in-law or a daughter-in-law then let me assure you that I'm only a daughter-in-law turned daughter of the house!!
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Cupid Speak 
